They're out there! The donuts!

I thought possibly I'd just invented the idea of red velvet donuts. (I mean, have you ever heard of them?) But they're out there. It's true. 


This is the first place where I learned about them. "Blondie and Brownie: Two Girls' Adventures in Food" sounds like my kinda blog (plus they've actually correctly used an often challenging apostrophe). But, since the first sentence starts out, "I'm not a Krispy Kreme fan," I didn't have to read far--actually just to the end of that first phrase--to realize they had no idea what they were talking about. 


Next. 


The Nickel Diner in Los Angeles. Click here, people, and behold some beautiful donuts. I don't eat bacon, but I have a lot of respect for a maple bacon donut. But let's not forget why we're here. The red velvet donut. Here's what Gastronomy Blog says about Nickel Diner's: "The red velvet doughnut took me by surprise with its unique texture and tangy cream cheese icing. Whereas the other doughnuts were  texturally one dimensional, this one was coated in a crunchy crust of red velvet cake crumbs." That all sounds pretty good... but I want a donut, not a whoopie pie, and that's kind of what this looks like to me. 


I turned to Smitten Kitchen, thinking they could help me. Well, they sorta could. While they have a reliable recipe for red velvet cake, there's not really one for donuts. Here's an adaptation, but, seriously, you can't bake something in a mini muffin pan and then call it a donut hole. I mean, mini muffins are delicious! BUT they are NOT donuts. It's like if I tried to tell you Sixlets were M&Ms. Nobody should be selling that. 


So, my half-assed google-based research yields these trusty results: 


1) Apparently I am pickier about donuts than your average bear. 
2) I am hungry. 
3) Southern grandmas make the best red velvet cake there is. If you are fortunate enough to have a southern grandma, or access to one, I highly recommend you put "make me red velvet donuts" at the top of this year's Christmas list.