Very important quiz, people! Answer correctly and you may win a mimosa! (And by that I mean you may win the opportunity to buy yourself a mimosa.)

It’s just 3 questions, but you will learn a lot about yourself from it. A lot. 

1) True or false?

Lemon pizza sounds delicious.

2) True or false?

Pickle pizza sounds delicious.

3) True or false?

The trailer for the Disney movie African Cats makes you weep like a sniveling idiot.

So, how’d you do?

If you answered “False” to most of these—

 Congratulations! Your normal-ish! Buy yourself a mimosa! Multiple mimosas!

 

If you answered “So Effin’ True” to most of these—

 Congratulations! You’re pregnant! LIKE ME!

*Bonus points: you’re extra pregnant like me if you live in a town in the deep south that only recently—finally—in 2011— voted to allow Sunday alcohol sales. That’s right. Just in time for you to never again know the joys of a Sunday brunch mimosa. (Congratulations! Eat five motherf*%&*n’ Cadbury eggs instead!)

My fetus totally looks like this astronaut

See? Toldja.

PS: Do you think whoever it is in there would enjoy this toy? 

Spring and all

Here's what I think about spring: when I lived in MA for a few years, that's when I realized that I had never really and truly appreciated spring. See, in MA you start seeing daffodils in the grocery store right around St. Patty's Day (even though there may be a blizzard on St. Patty's Day) and that means winter is almost over and soon it'll be snow-free and things are going to be slushy and muddy but generally gorgeous and awesome!

Having grown up in and now returned to the Southeast, I realize that daffodils say something entirely different to me than they did in MA. Here, they say something like: Hey guess what? It's kinda nice weather now even though your car's yellow from pollen, but soon we'll once again journey through 5 relentless months of the most unbearable, humid, make-you-want-to-rip-your-skin-off-because-it's-so-damn-hot summer known to man! 

So, yeah, basically I now think of spring as the singing telegram dressed in bright happy colors who rings your doorbell only to serenade you with a dirge of the death-that-is-Summer.

 But, still, there're a few nice things about spring, I guess--

Baseball spring training & forthcoming actual baseball.

Vegetable garden planning.

Pine Warblers at the feeder. 

(All my photography attempts at these guys thusfar have failed.) 

Plus, a whole house that smells like this: 

Thank you to whoever lived here before and planted hyacinth!

By the way, if you are one of those Spring Lovers, The Art of Doing Stuff has some great porn for you.

A few bones

I've been super busy lately doing things like grading shoeless students' quizzes and essays. Guess what? I'm still pretty busy doing that. But in the rare event that my 5 or so readers have missed me, I thought I'd toss some bones your way...

1/ Here is an online comic I love. It's a weird combination of adorable and sad. I think you'll like it too.

2/ I made a crab quiche the other day. I was pretty excited about it, because doesn't that sound so delicious?! ...But it wasn't. I mean, it was decent and we ate it all, but it was not, in fact--as I am embarrassed and amused at actually having said out loud--"da bomb."  So I'm recommitted to my normal ole' veggie quiche. (Don't let the mayo scare you.)

3/ Speaking of food, somehow I found myself accidentally watching Cupcake Wars. Know what's really good to look at for an hour before you go to sleep? CUPCAKES. Also, I just wanna say that if I were a judge on this show these size 0 cupcake bitches would be the first to go. I mean, really. The phrase "90 lb pastry chef" should. not. even. exist. 

4/ My cat does this to my husband every time he gets up from the couch. There's some controversy in my house over whether it's annoying or one of the cutest, most endearing things ever. (Hint: the correct answer is B.)

5/ I'm getting better at crocheting granny squares! I love the way they look like little square yarn pancake short stacks.