Getchur bourb on: Woodford

Do y'all know about the Peak End Hypothesis? It's this idea that when you reflect on how good or bad an experience has been, the last few moments of the experience are what primarily shape your attitude about the overall experience. It's why we eat salad first and pecan pie last--because pecan pie kicks salad's ass in deliciousness.

So here, friends, is the dessert of the distillery visits. Even though we visited Woodford first, it was by far our favorite experience. 

I should issue a warning about this post: It's almost like I'm 13 years old and Woodford Reserve is Christian Slater in Pump Up The Volume. Because that, my friends, is just how much OMGI'MINLOVE! gushing is going to happen here. 

Q: What the road to Woodford Reserve like?


A: The awesome pastoral heaven you've always dreamed of!  (I know--you can't believe it, right?)


Here's what I mean:

Spectacular dappled gray horses begging sweetly for apple? Check.

Additional beautiful thoroughbreds on lovely rolling hills? Check. 

Surprise antebellum cemetery? Check.

See what I mean? And this is before you even get there, people! 

Oh, hello, beautiful! 

Isn't Versailles super beautiful? The only thing weirder than how picturesque everything is is hearing Kentuckians say "Welcome to Versales." 

I think that most of bourbon trail tours are free, but Woodford's is $5. It's worth more than all the free ones combined, though. It wasn't crowded like Maker's (although I was perplexed by how many women wore sun dresses and heels to tour a bourbon distillery).

Our tour guide, Earl, was adorable in his earnestness and low-key-ness.  I already knew I liked his style, but when he said,"if you liked the tour, my name's Earl; if you didn't, my name's still Earl" he got bonus points. I also found his sketchers shape-ups sneakers endearing, and the way he pointed out that bourbon balls were unlimited. (Of everything he said, I remember this most clearly.)  

Earl teaching us about grains. Bourbon has to be at least 51% corn. 

The Woodford Reserve grounds, distillery and warehouse are Just! So! Pretty! I mean, even if you don't normally swear you'd be all "Holy $*@@!% That's SO *##$%!^!#@*ng beeeyuuuutiful!" Check out this old school stonework: 

Mostly original stone. Old school, baby. Like, old old school.
 (Does this remind anyone else of Thornfield, Rochester's Estate in Jane Eyre?)

Labrot & Graham est. 1838

This is called the barrel run. I adore it in all its simplicity. You fill up your barrels in the distillery, then roll 'em down the barrel run into the warehouse.

Can I get a "laundry run" system? 

Of course, the real party happens inside, and is quite frothy. 

Wait till you see where the bourbon-to-be goes next-- be still my beating heart! 

Get it?! Be still! STILL! Cause it's a bourbon still..

Pretty, pretty, medieval-looking barrels. 

After they take the little ride down the barrel run, and then hang out in the warehouse for a while, they get taste-tested for doneness. The mahogany-colored sap-looking stuff you see flowing out of some barrels is from barrels that have been tapped for preliminary taste-testing to see if they're bottle-ready.

After the Woodford tour, you go back to the main house where you can eat lunch, buy a drink at the bar, or buy pretty much any Kentucky/ Woodford Reserve/ Horse-themed object you want at the gift shop. You want a personally engraved Woodford bottle? You got it! You want horse shaped cookie cutters? You got it!  Woodford Reserve copper mint julep cups? You got it! (Actually, we did get these. They were $11. The other gift shops had them for $20-$100!) 

Most importantly, after the tour, even though we were still reeling from the the whole gorgeousness of the place and in awe of the bourbon-making craftsmanship, we got this: 

A chocolate bourbon ball and a sample of Woodford with a tasting card. I've had many a Woodford before, but it wasn't until this moment, sipping on the sample in the rocking chair on the Woodford porch, that I really tasted it. The tasting card asked if I could taste vanilla and nut. Why, yes I can! Then, after adding a single small chip of ice, here comes apricot and caramel! IT'S A FLAVOR PARADE! 

Woodford Reserve, you are earnest, good looking, well groomed, you know how to treat a lady, and you come with candy. And in my book that means true googly-eyed love. 

To learn more about my liquid boyfriend, like the fun fact that he received a "medicinal exception" during prohibition, click here.